Motherhood: Wonders and hardships of becoming a mom
According to statistics, fertility rates have shown a sharp decline in the past decade around Europe. Women are having not only less children but are also becoming moms at a later age. There are a myriad of studies and articles debating the different scenarios associated with this decrease in number of births.
Leaving aside the political, economic, and personal reasons leading to this reality, I'm writing here about my personal experience.
In a first instance, making the decision of wanting to be a mom comes naturally for some women, while for others represents a well of doubts and fears.
On a second stage, becoming pregnant happens quite smoothly for some women, while for others unfolds unfortunately into a painful journey.
In the last stage, becoming a mom - which also represents the beginning of motherhood - feels like a second nature for some women; while for others feels as if the world as they know were collapsing from the inside out.
I'm not trying to paint a simplistic view on motherhood. The same way life is not black and white, motherhood is not smooth or incredible hard. There is always an in-between and it is exactly within this space that I move myself as a mom.
I remember wanting to be a mom since my early youth. It was always one of my deepest desires. Despite having taken longer than I once expected, stage one developed quite naturally to me. Getting pregnant and being pregnant was also felt by me as a blessing. No nausea, little extra weight, an overall sense of tranquility. Apart the normal tiredness and eagerness for the next phase, stage two took place.
Little did I imagine that, after the long and extenuating process of giving birth, the most wonderful and yet challenging chapter of my life was beginning.
Truth is we can dream about being a mom for a long time, though can only grasp its reality by becoming one. Regardless of my sense of readiness, in the first month and a half my entire body and mind found themselves in herculean efforts trying to integrate this new reality. Even though my baby blues didn't evolve to a post-partum depression, that didn't make it less hard or lonely.
We don't talk enough about these early stages of motherhood. How many women felt and still feel alone and suffering during this stage? How many are ashamed of sharing aloud their feelings and thoughts by fear of being judged?
Just because we choose to become a mom, that doesn't deprive us from feeling lonely and lost. Just because we acknowledge the wonders of becoming a mom, that doesn't take away the hardships of being one.
Motherhood is as much one of the most remarkable gifts of humanity as it is one of the most demanding. Embracing your choice of becoming a mom implies accepting that there will be moments of wonder as well as moments of hardship. Rest assured that you will be the better mom to your children that you can be.
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