Change of lifestyle: The 'have it all' mindset
What is the problem of wanting it all? To want a successful career, a steady relationship, time with your kids, an active social life, healthy habits.
Some people will tell you it is impossible. I'd say: Nothing is impossible, it's always a matter of priorities and mindset.
Before I went to Germany, I was working a 40 hour-job, I was married yet no kids. I used to spend a considerable amount of time laying on the couch binge-watching. I smoked a lot and made all kind of excuses to skip the gym and eat junk food. I'd tell myself I had no time to do anything. Weekends would go by as a flash, not to mention the usual Sunday depressing mood. Before I know it, Monday had arrived, and it was 'lather rinse repeat'.
During my time abroad something shifted. Or should I say, my perspective took a 360-degree turn. I was awakened to a different reality, and I grew fond of it. I got to change my relationship with work and become more flexible and open-minded to other work styles. I had my kids, I cut on my working hours, I started eating healthier (thanks to my husband's cooking!) and exercising 4 to 5 times a week.
You may be thinking "Yeah, but life in Germany is more easy-going than in some places around the world". Sure, I'm not referring to third world countries where people' struggles revolve around survival circumstances. I'm talking about you and I, people with an infinitude of skills and resources at our disposal and a bunch of lame excuses to cover for it.
The more time we have the more we waste it. Is this true for you too? If you want to have it all - whatever 'all's means to you - perhaps a change of lifestyle is needed. And to change your lifestyle time is not your secret ingredient, rather priorities and mindset.
What is holding you back from having it all?
First, I'd say you need to figure out what your 'all' is. Often, we look at other people's lives - usually through social media - and envy what they have. "Oh, X or Y have everything. They have an impressive career or a successful business. They seem so happy with their spouse and kids; they travel and spend quality time together. They go out with their friends and still have time to exercise and do community service".
Regardless of this being an accurate picture of their life or not, it should not be about them. Rather, about YOU and what you want, what your 'all' entails. Be honest with yourself and get to the bottom of it! Instead of wasting your time and energy looking through other people's lives, focus on what you need to achieve your 'all'. In other words, what are your priorities.
Perhaps you want to apply for that dream job or be selected for that promotion. Maybe you want to have more flexibility and cut on your working hours or have your business and manage time by your own rules. When it comes to relationships, you may need a regular date night with your partner. Or a fun activity to do your kid(s) to deepen your connection. You want to decrease your stress levels and decide to join a yoga class or go for a run. You crave for more connection in your life, so you wish to meet once a week with your friend or start volunteering. Possibilities are endless and again nothing is impossible. Set your priorities straight!
Also, mindset. How will you achieve your 'all'? We are talking about your unique storytelling talent. Think about what you usually tell yourself when you need or want something. If it relates with statements such as, I don't have time. I can do this later. I don't have what it takes. It's too risky. What will others think? I am not worthy of it. - then it's a call for change.
All those people you know or who you follow that 'have it all' are also storytellers. However, the stories they tell themselves are those of confidence, appreciation, self-belief, self-love, acceptance, compassion. Is it a 'have it all mindset'? I believe so. And you can develop this mindset as well.
Remember what we said about skills and resources? They are at your disposal, right within and around you. Again, what do you need to change your lifestyle? Priorities and mindset. Set your priorities according to what makes sense to you right now (priorities can always shift!). Change your mindset from 'It's impossible to have it all' to 'I can have it all'.
Sounds like a lot of work! No doubt. But if I'm not mistaken, you want it all right? Go for ALL. No excuses this time.
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