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Good and bad memories: Who would we be without memories at all?

Bad memories is something we all have. It is not as if we enjoy dwelling on them - I know that I don't - but I believe there is value to be taken from such memories.


One of the reasons why we avoid thinking of the past - except for those who are stuck in it - is probably associated with bad memories as well as the pain attached to them. Suffering caused to us or caused by us.


Consciously looking back, I'm sure each of us would find moments we are not particularly proud of how we have behaved. A loved one we lied to, a mother we mistreated, a stranger in need we ignored, a friend we let down.


The same way as we are able to identify situations where someone has hurt us. An absent parent, a loved one who broke our trust, a boss who offended us, a friend who turned their back when we most needed them.


If you were to connect with one - or more - of these moments and the pain you felt back then, no matter how much time has passed, I would assume it still hurts. I would imagine that you can still feel your body shivering and your mind shrinking.

I bet you feel the weigh of each memory. The more intense the pain, the more we wish to keep these memories away.


During the next three minutes, let's pretend that there is no such thing as memory.

In other words, you can't look back even if you wanted to, for the simple fact that there is no past to delve into.


This means there is no pain to be relived since there is no memory of such feeling. It also means that there are no memories to be remembered; no experiences to be shared.


Perhaps for a split second this scenario sounds nice. Less heavy, less painful. A reality where you could forget who has hurt you and whom you have hurt. A hail Mary from all pains.


What would be the down side? Well, every story has two sides and even someone who may have caused you a lot of pain, may simultaneously have loved you deeply.

When you obliterate all memories, it is not only the bad ones that are gone; the good memories also go away. Suddenly, you would not be able to remember those late night conversations, the warm cuddling, the shared laughs and secrets, the love and joy you felt with and for each other.


Aren't all these memories - the good and the bad - part of who you are today? You have become the person you are today due to your past experiences. Experiences you can access because of your memories.


Perhaps memories are worth to have and to keep, despite the suffering they may have caused.

Memories are part of your personal library. You can choose to access them whenever you want - or at least until your brain allows it. They may come as a pair you cannot tear apart, though you can certainly let the good memories touch you deeper and last longer.


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